Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Wifespeak - Husbandspeak

To listen to the message where I originally read this list click here.

WIFESPEAK (What she really means)

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

You know what we need? = Do you know what I really, really I want.

Do you like this recipe? = It's really easy to make, so you'd better get used to it.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep, but I really need to talk.

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

Does this dress make my butt look fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset; you just told me I'm fat.

Do you like it? = Look at my hair not my dress.

No =No. Maybe = No. Yes = Right Now!

It's your decision = The correct decision should be blatantly obvious by now.

We need to talk = You did something really stupid and I'm not as mad now as I was when I found out you did something really stupid so now is a good time to tell you how stupid that really was!

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

I'm not yelling! = I'’m only going to get louder if we don't resolve this issue soon!

HUSBANDSPEAK (What he really means)

Take a break, honey, you're working too hard. = I can't hear the race over the vacuum cleaner.

Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal. = I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit it hurts.

Have you lost weight? = I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill.

That's women's work. = It's a difficult, dirty and thankless job; there is no way I'm doing that!

Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love. = I forgot our anniversary, again.

You know how bad my memory is. = I remember the theme song to '‘Gilligan's Island', the phone number of my first girlfriend and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

Of course I like it, honey, you look beautiful. = Is that a new dress or did you do something to your hair?

Does your butt look fat in that dress? = Give me a minute while weigh out my options.

You look terrific. = Can we just go now.

That's interesting, dear. = Are you still talking?

I heard you." = I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it long enough so that you don't know I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said!

A Biblical Study
on the Dynamics of RELATIONSHIPS
A four-part series dealing with: Friendship, Love & Romance, Marriage and Family is currently being offered at Willow Community Church. To hear the first three messages in this series please click here.


Jesus Christ is the most beautiful person I have ever had a relationship with! He has done so much for me and has given me so much to be thankful for. In fact, He has given me the second most beautiful person I have ever had a relationship with in Kim, my wife (My Kimy!). The Bible speaks a lot about having an abundant and fulfilling life, and the longer He allows Kimy in my life, the more I understand abundance and fulfillment.

Kimy and I have been together for over 20 years and have been married for over 19 of them. We have had a lot of trauma and difficult situations in our marriage, but I must admit that we have never had a relationship threatening issue ever come up. Hard financial times? You bet. Times of difficulty in communicating? More than I would like to admit. Times when outside influences dictate how much time we get to spend together? Absolutely; we're in the Ministry! But at no time have I ever felt like hanging it all up and walking away.

I'm not sure I can fully describe why we have stayed in love (and lust!) with each other for so long. I think a lot of it has to do with the timing of events in our life as a married couple. It seems that when ever I am in a deep moral or extended family drama, Kimy has been strong and faithful to the Biblical standards we set as the foundation of our relationship way back in 1987. The same is true of me towards her. We have always been able to separate what is happening inside our interdependent relationship with what is happening outside our home.

Notice that I mentioned "interdependent" and not "codependent" relationship. Codependence means dependence on the needs of or control by another person. I truly believe that I am in a codependent relationship with the One who created me. Both Kimy and I give the place of the "need provider" and "life controller" to God because of our belief in Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit (comment on that last statement and I'll elaborate more). By interdependent, I mean that Kimy and I are mutually responsible to each other not for each other. At the end of our lives, in the presence of God the Judge, we will have to give an account for our own actions and reactions. Therefore, we have agreed to take an active part in the wellbeing of the other by praying and asking God to provide for the others needs (and even a few of their wants!). We have worked very hard to help the other grow in their own understanding of God's will for their life. We have not, on the other hand, tried to determine what God's will is as we see it for the other person.

The idea that my Kimy is praying for me, on my behalf to the Creator of the Universe, is one of the most awesome thoughts I have ever had. She loves me so much that she is asking God to reveal Himself to me for His good purpose, which in turn will be for my own good. There is absolutely nothing more attractive than a man's best friend and life mate taking time out of her day to lift him up before God! Now that is true beauty and the basis for an abundant and fulfilling relationship.

Tuesday, August 8, 2006

How long has it been?

Since my last post over a month ago, things in my life have gotten really busy. I don't think there has been any one thing that has kept me from my PC. Actually, I think there has been several reasons, but the most obvious is the time I've been spending in prayer and contemplation.

As most of you know, I became the senior pastor at a small Wesleyan church in Lansing, Michigan back in January. I truly love this job! I am more fulfilled than I ever could have imagined. I have loved every position I have had since I made the decision to enter full-time ministry, but there is something about Willow Community Church that makes me smile and expand my chest cavity just a little bit more than anywhere I have ever ministered.

I have never worked this hard in my entire life and I love it! It's only been seven months, but I still wake up in the morning very excited to get to work. The load is big, but the burden is light. There are dozens of people that call on Willow Community Church for everything from food & money to counseling & spiritual advice. There are times I don't get to do those things that I think need to be getting done when I think they need to be getting done, but I always seem to get them done anyways. In fact, most of the time I don't really feel like I'm working at all.

There has been a bit of a learning curve... Time Management. The things I have been involved in at other churches were very fulfilling and fruitful, but the schedules and events were pretty much planned for me. In this situation, I have to plan my day on my own. When I say "plan my day" I really mean the whole day. I have to be very particular how much time I spend at the "office" and how much time I spend at coffee with people and how much time I spend with my family. I love doing it all, but there is still only 24 hours in a day and I need to spend a few of those sleeping.

The other thing I'm learning is... Role Management. I'm trying to figure out when I'm Pastor Bill, Brother Billy, Son William, Honey-Babe or Daddy. Again, I love everything about each of those roles, but I'm finding out that I get the placement of those roles wrong a little too often.

That leads me to the opening statement of this blog, "the time I've been spending in prayer and contemplation". I have a drive that I can not control, a drive to seek clarity and definition in my life. I just recently discovered that I don't know as much as I thought I did. In fact, I discovered that I really don't know that much at all. Therefore, I take God at His word and ask Him for guidance and understanding. My life Bible verse (the passage of Scripture I apply to every aspect of my life) is Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to Me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Followed closely by James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." I believe that it is often very difficult to discern God's will. I think that we as a culture find it very difficult to find the time to be still and quiet. But in order to know God's will and plan for our everyday life, we must find the time to seek God and He has chosen to speak to us a still, small voice. I know that I need to spend time with people especially my family, but I can not give them or anyone else for that matter, what I can until I have given time to God; still, quiet time.